Tuesday, February 16th, 2010—Bar 37

Day 37—Monday, February 15th

Bongo

Alright, I’m in a much better mood tonight. The Valentine’s Day massacre from last night is over and it’s time to start fresh on this, the 37th day of the bar crawl.

I thought every once in awhile I’d revisit a bar that I went to when I wrote my book, “99 Beers Off The Wall.” The book was a series of reviews of 99 bars that I went to over my seven day vacation from work, along with a travelogue in between about slogging around Manhattan, seven days in a row, drunk as a skunk. The book came out in 2002 and as you can imagine, some of the memories are foggy at best. Today I was flipping through it and found this “review” from the book.
I knew most people wouldn’t get that joke, it comes from a time when the Beatles were on a British comedy show, here’s the video:

Anyway, I got online and found out that this place is a little retro type lounge specializing in signature cocktails and seafood. In fact the New Yorker proclaims their lobster roll is the best in New York. Okay, I don’t have to work tonight, so let’s go there and see if we can repair the damage done from last night’s nightmare dining experience.

It's snowing outside...Hello Bongo!

Holy smokes, a big change from last night, I'm the only one in the joint so far, outside of the friendly bartender, John.

John serves up the first cocktail of the evening, a Bongo Gin Rickey. John is also an accomplished opera singer and voice teacher. His family runs this theater in Ohio: Huron Playhouse.

Wow, these drinks are potent, one sip and I go into patented spastic mode!

The front of the bar has comfortable couches and chairs to sit and enjoy cocktails and food.

The full bar at Bongo.

Here's the second drink of the evening. My garbled notes say this is a Bongo Bonfire, but checking the website, I don't see such a drink. These drinks are potent, maybe I shouldn't have had those four beers before I left!

More comfortable surroundings await you in the lounge area of the bar.

These fine and friendly folks came in from the snowy evening and joined me at the bar, From left: Bill, Jessica, Tiffany, Mike. and John. It turns out Bill is originally from Cinncinatti, so I entertained them with my tale of getting arrested in the Cinncinatti airport and spending an evening in the Boone County Jail.

The back room at Bongo.

I ordered the lobster roll and cole slaw to soak up some of the alcohol.

It was the best fucking lobster roll I've ever had. And the cole slaw was homemade, crunchy and delicious! This more than makes up for last night's dining disastor!

On to drink number three...I mentioned these drinks were potent, right? Goodnight everybody!

Review

Bongo is fun little hidden, gem of a lounge and bar  on 10th street. The atmosphere is laid back kitsch complete with retro mid-century furniture and a friendly vibe from both the clientle and the people that work there. It’s a small cozy place, perfect for a date or to hang out after work and unwind on the comfortable couches and chairs.

There’s a slew of custom cocktails to be had here (34 total), including a Ruby Grapefruit Martini, the Bongo Breeze, a Sakepolitan and the Bongo Crush. They are potent drinks, so you can order a mini. Personally I stuck with the regular size, it’s my job after all!

Bongo also has a full menu specializing in seafood delights. The New Yorker calls their lobster roll the best in New York City and I have to agree. Wonderful homemade cole slaw as well. Other treats to choose from include a raw bar featuring oysters, little neck clams and shrimp. Also on the menu is macaroni and cheese, codfish cakes, crab cake sandwich and a tuna burger.

And there’s no fat hairy legs! Hello, Bongo!

Bongo (Chelsea Location, the one I went to)
299 Tenth Avenue (between 27th and 28th Sts.)
212-947-3654

West Village Location
395 West Street (corner of 10th St. and the Westside Highway)
212-675-6555

Monday, February 15th, 2010—Bar 36

Day 36—Sunday, February 14th

The bar at Good Stuff Diner (I originally tried Duke’s and then a bunch of others, I forgot it was Valentine's Day)

Okay, it’s Sunday, so time to focus on my Sunday dinner. I had to work today, so I’m a little beat, not in that great of a mood and would rather just get a sandwich, stay home and have a few beers. But I’ve got a service to provide here, so it’s onwards and upwards to the next bar for Sunday dinner. And the bar is Duke’s because it’s close by and I’ve eaten there a lot. They’ve got a varied menu, so let’s get going, I’m starvin’ like Marvin over here!

Okay, I told you it was close by, here we are, Duke's! I love all the neon in the window, let's get in there and eat!

Holy fuckballs, it's jammed in here and not a seat to be had at the bar. Fuck...oh well, I know a bar just a block away...

The Old Town Bar! This is a great New York landmark bar. They have great hot dogs and cheeseburgers in this joint!

It's hard to see in this photo because I guess my flash didn't work, but there's not a seat to be had in here either. It's fucking Sunday night, usually nothing's crowded, that's why I love Sunday night. Okay, let's try BLT Fish, it's a restaurant with a bar in it and I've never had trouble getting a seat at the bar and it's just two blocks away.

And here we are. The fish and chips here are great and they've got a huge selection of beer.

Oh motherfucker of all motherfuckers! I completely forgot it's Valentine's Day! No wonder everyone is out. I don't have a good feeling about this at all.

And my bad feelings are justified. The bar is packed with asshole Valentine's Day fucktards. BLT has a sister restaurant devoted to cheeseburgers. Valentine's Day people aren't big cheeseburger eaters, are they? Well, I am, let's go before I faint from hunger pangs.

Here's my freezing, pissed off, hungry, dying for a beer self-portrait on 6th Avenue.

Okay, here we are at BLT Burger. This place has great cheeseburgers!

Oh no!

Oh motherfucker! I feel like a combination of Joseph, Mary and the unborn Jesus, there's no room at the motherfucking Inn! Well, we're two blocks away from 14th Street and I can't take it any longer. Time to bite the bullet and go somewhere that I know won't be crowded. And how do I know that? Because the place sucks donkey lungs on toast. That's why.

The Good Stuff Diner. This town has tons of great diners in it. This is not one of them. I've been here about four times and never have had a good meal in here and it's a weird place.

The bar is almost deserted and the motif in this joint is late '60's bad Braniff airline mod decor at its worst. Everything's orange in here.

The other end of the bar is deserted so I plant myself on a stool.

Aaahhh...the first of many Budweisers. The counterman waiting on me refused to have his picture taken and it's probably for the best. He's a short, twitchy guy with an accent not unlike Latka Gravas from the Taxi TV show. He's sweating profusely and he gives me the creeps. More beer please!

The empty diner. Kind of looks like a Denny's from hell from this vantage point.

The only saving grace in this place are the vintage cocktail paper placemats.

They have a full bar here, which is good, you'll want to have plenty of drinks before dinner. I'm on my fourth bottle of Budweiser already.

Lots of wine here, too bad I don't drink wine. Thanks for nothing Good Stuff Diner!

Okay, dinner is served by the shifty, sweaty foreign guy. I ordered the NY Strip steak sandwich, medium rare with the french fries extra well-cooked. I asked them to hold the lettuce and tomatoes because that shit always just gets in the way. And this is what showed up. Hey Good Stuff Diner, could you burn the steak a little more for me?  It's not completely a pile of ashes yet, but it's close. And the french fries are as limp as Hugh Hefner's dick in the middle of a Viagra shortage. And remember I told them to hold the tomatoes and lettuce? Well I guess they held it as long as they could and then dropped it right back on the plate because here they are. And the "sandwich" is served on hamburger buns. It's not a steak burger, Good Stuff Diner, put some real bread underneath it next time. Next time? Ha ha ha, who am I kidding, like I'd come back here again! Next time I want a meal this bad, I'll cook it myself!

Thanks Valentine's Day, for ruining my cherished Sunday night dinner. J. Geils said it best, Love Stinks! Goodnight everybody!

Review

Good Stuff Diner? Ha ha ha! The title is irony at its finest hour. What a horrible night. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow. I’ll try and be in a better mood.

Good Stuff Diner
109 W. 14th St. between 6th and 7th
212-929-2555

Sunday, February 14th, 2010—Bar 35

Day 35—Saturday, February 13th

The Library (in the Regency Hotel)

Okay, it’s Saturday, so that means I’m going to a hotel bar. I found a bar online in the Regency Hotel called the Library and I thought I’d go and donate my two books, The Boy Who Would Be A Fire Truck and 99 Beers Off The Wall to their collection. Maybe I’ll get a free drink out of the deal, who knows? Well we will if we get a move on, come on, up and at ‘em!

Freezing self-portrait on the subway. The heater's in the cars weren't working. Thanks, MTA!

Here we are, the Regency hotel on the Upper East Side. La de da!

The entrance to the Library is right off the lobby.

Here's the bar and the mixologist, but you can't sit there.

The bar has lots of tables, banquettes and couches to sit and enjoy cocktails and food.

Lining the walls are bookcases filled with books, pictures and knick-knacks.

I make my way toward a table and discover...

A holy trinity of free snacks! Cheese crackers, olives and peanuts, woo hoo!

The waiter was shy and only let me photograph his hand, which gave me an Addams Family Thing moment. I ordered the Dolley which is Hendicks Gin, brewed green tea, muddled basil and lime juice.

Unlike the waiter, I'm not shy. Hello Dolley!

There's a free newsstand in the library featuring the daily papers and weekly magazines.

Leigh, the manager and hostess of the Library accepts my offering of my two books for the bookshelves in the bar.

And she placed them here. Hooray for me!

Here's the entire bookshelf with my books!

To celebrate I got a cheese pizza and it was thin crusted and delicious.

I washed it down with a Budweiser which led to...

The occasional bathroom mirror shot. Goodnight everybody!

Review

The Library is one of two bars in the classy Regency hotel on the Upper East Side. The ambience is plush leather and wood old school New York at its finest. While there is no actual bar to sit at, customers can lounge in comfortable couches, leather banquettes and chairs among candlelit tables. You’re never at a loss for reading material as the Library has bookshelves of fine reading material ranging from literary classics to the daily newspapers and weekly magazines for your perusal.

The Library has 19 specialty signature cocktails, eight imported beers along with four American premium bottled beers. They have a varied menu including their own Park Avenue Pizza, Roasted Tomato Soup with Little Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, Chicken Quesadilla, New York Reuben Sliders and for the sweet tooth, Library Double Chocolate Pudding. The Library features a weekend brunch and there’s free snacks on every table!

The Library (in the Regency Hotel)
540 Park Ave, Regency Hotel
212-339-4050