Tuesday, February 2, 2010—Bar 23

Day 23—Monday, February 1st, 2010—Bull’s Head Tavern

Monday’s can be a pretty dead bar night, so I turned to the Murph Guide and found this on the things to do on Monday’s page:

It’s classic rock night, so hopefully they mean Beatles, Stones, Kinks, classic rock. And I’m dying to meet the rocker girl, Bettina. I’ve never met a woman named Bettina, so let’s get over there. Oh and Rip Torn’s in a bit of a sticky wicket these days, so in honor of his character, Artie, from the Larry Sanders show, I'm going to drink a Salty Dog, which was Artie's favorite drink. Okay and awaaaay we go!

Okay here we are, The Bull’s Head at 23rd and 3rd. Thirty blocks from 53rd and 3rd, the corner the Ramones made iconic in this song.

Monday is Funday, I’m ready!

Okay I ordered the Salty Dog, but got attitude from the bartender when I asked to take her picture.
“You can take a picture of the drink, but not of me,” I was curtly told in a somewhat demeaning manner. She acted pissed off I asked her to take her photo, and I explained I’m doing a website about going to bars and I’m documenting it with photos. It’s not like I asked her to take her shirt off and flash her tits at me, but I was nice and let it go. I asked if I could take photos in the bar and she said I could.

So I took this and saw the back of her head was visible. I showed it to her and she said that was okay. I said, “Okay, I’ll put the bartender was pretty, but shy.” Well this set her off.
“Look, I’m not shy, I just have no reason to want my picture on your website! I don't need to have you put my picture on your website.” She pointedly told me in really condescending tones as if I was a world beneath her.
But as I thought about it, yeah, she’s right. Why would a bartender want to be on a website that promotes and tries to bring in business to New York bars? Why would she want me to say nice things about her and build up her following? What kind of kooky talk was I jabbering about? All these other bartender’s who have been super-friendly to me must be out of their fucking minds to let me take their picture and say nice things about them. Well, all except one. I think Blondie from Bull’s Head should hook up with the bartender from this fucking dump. Together they could produce the true demon seed. After the Salty Dog I had two Budweiser’s and got the fuck out of this place. And if it’s any consolation to Rip Torn, I had a shitty night too. Here’s to tomorrow and a friendlier bartender.

Review

To be fair, the bar was nice, there’s two pool tables, a jukebox and a bowling game, drink specials, blah, blah, blah. But I don’t care how fucking nice a bar is, if the bartender is rude, it can ruin the whole mood of the joint. Even though I was treated like shit by the bartender for having the audacity to suggest I take her picture for a website that promotes bars and bartenders, I still left a three dollar tip. I had three drinks, was never thanked, treated like total shit and I’ll never go back there again. You can do what you want, but I wouldn’t put this place high up on a bar crawl list.

Update: 3/26/2010: I just got a super nice letter from another bartender who works here named, Kelly who saw this review. She apologized for the bad time I had and offered and invitation to come back on a Friday night when she is working and give the bar a second chance.

That was really cool and nice of Kelly to offer. I'm going to go back, but I have to wait till I have a Friday off work, so I can go to two bars in one day and revisit Bull's Head Tavern. As I said in the review, it looks like a nice place, the bartender just killed it for me, so go check it out. I'll let you all know when I head back there. Thanks so much for the kind offer, Kelly!

Bull’s Head Tavern
295 Third Ave. (@ 23rd St.)
212-685-2589

Monday, February 1st, 2010—Bar 22

Day 22—Sunday, January 31st—Keens Steakhouse Bar
Okay, it’s Sunday and time for the Sunday dinner bar blog. Tonight we’re going to a hash bar. And no, I’m not flying to Amsterdam. Last week I met a man at O’Reilley’s Off Fifth. His name is Viv (he’s the tenth photo down) and he told me he managed the Keens Steakhouse. I immediately flashed back to a time a couple years ago when I walked into their bar and found Prime Rib Hash on their pub menu. It was probably one of the best meals I’ve ever had in a bar. And I wondered why I never went back. Well tonight I’m going back and you can join me. Bring a big appetite because this thing is about the size of a spare tire. Let’s go!

Keens has a full restaurant, but we're going to the bar. Because I'm walking into 365 bars, not steakhouses.

It's old school Noo Yawk in here.

Greg the bartender serves up the first beer of the evening.

I salute him and happily accept the beverage.

The wooden walls are lined with vintage New York photos.

Pretzels!

The bar is well-stocked for all your boozing needs.

Chalk boards show different drinks and specials. They don't need no stinking neon in here!

And who shows up but Viv from the other night. He kindly asked that I don't put any stickers in the bathroom. I didn't have any with me, so the bathroom was safe.

I saw the light at Keens!

Nice tits!

Dinner time! David serves up the Prime Rib Hash!

It's served with an egg on top and it's delicious!

The egg is broken and that's no yolk. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's a true feast!

This guy was staring at me the whole time and I have to confess, it freaked me out a little.

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot! Goodnight everybody!

Review

Keens is an old school restaurant and bar. The place opened in 1885 and it is still going strong. The bar is a seperate annex from the restaurant and the dark wooden walls are decorated with glowing lamps and vintage black and white pictures of New York. It’s a quiet and laid back bar, perfect for a first date or a friendly place to sit, enjoy a drink and chat with the local regulars.

Along with the full bar there’s a selection of eleven bottled beers, a half a dozen varieties of draft beers and a large wine selection. You can sample free appetizers Monday through Friday from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. You can order from the full restaurant menu in the bar and there’s also a pub menu to choose from. I highly recommend the Prime Rib Hash, one of the best bar chow-downs to be had in Manhattan.

Keens Steakhouse
72 W. 36th St. (off 6th Ave.)
212-947-3636

Sunday, January 31, 2010—Bar 21

Day 21—Saturday, January 30th—Village Lantern
First off I want to acknowledge a donation of a different stripe I got in the mail yesterday. A box showed up at my house, so I opened it up (that’s my standard operating procedure when a box shows up):

And it was filled with cookies, peanut brittle and a nice note from Amanda Cobb a.k.a. DJ Loki from Woody Radio! Thank you so much Amanda, this will fortify me for tonight’s bar crawl. Check out DJ Loki and the fabulous DJ Gidget and all the others at Woody Radio: Woody Radio.
Okay about a week ago, Lisa from The Red Bar told me I should check out comedian Joe Masse. So tonight he’s got a gig at the Village Lantern and I’m going to go and check out his show. And you’re all welcome too join me. Have a piece of peanut brittle for the trip!
Here we are at the Village Lantern and not a second too soon. It is freezing outside tonight. Let's go in and warm up.

This is the street level bar where the regulars and diners hang out. The comedy show is downstairs in the basement.

Here's Josephine and Victor. Josephine is a waitress at Village Lantern and Victor is the bartender.

And here he is, the Master of Ceremonies for the "Schmucks Are People Too" show, Joe Masse. Time to go to the basement. Oof, I just had a John Wayne Gacy moment!

It's a half an hour till show time and people are already showing up.

Paul came in from Jersey and advised everyone not to watch The Jersey Shore show. So far, I've managed to live without it, but they are on Page 6 today, so I had to suffer through that.

Brendan's not sunburned, he just came in from the cold. I told you it was freezing out there!

Tiffany was laughing and the show hasn't even started yet. I want some of what she's drinking!

Here's Valerie, Mike and the glare of my flashbulb.

Joe warms the crowd up for the first comedian...

Sam Morrill was first on the bill. Sam killed from the moment he set foot on stage.

Joe continues the show and the laughs continue. He introduces the next comic...

Ted Cirillo. This was Ted's first time doing standup and the disabled microphone act brought him some improv laughter.

Eventually Joe gave Ted a hand with the microphone. And some jerkoff stuck his hand in the middle of this shot!

Up next is Brendan Puskar. I think this may have been his first time as well, but he was funny and the crowd loved him.

David Hess killed with classic New York humor.

And now Joe introduces the one and only...

Yours Fooly! I get up onstage and make a total bumbling ass of myself to remind everyone that standup comedy is for professionals! I should've used the chair behind me!

But I did manage to get the crowd to put their hands up in the air and yell, "Motherfucker" all at once. It's amazing the power of the microphone.

Anu Kalra was the last comedian of the night and he slayed the audience.

Everyone was yukking it up after the show.

Here I am with Joe Masse, M.C. extroadinairre!

And look who showed up, the lovely Lisa from the Red Bar who suggested I see this show in the first place! Thanks for the tip Lisa! Stop by the Red Bar and see Lisa, she makes a mean Tornado!

Review

There’s a little something for everyone at the Village Lantern. Throughout the week there’s live jazz, DJ’s spinning a more rocking sound and comedy seven nights a week in the lounge in the basement. Wednesday is open mic night if you feel like letting your inner Andy Kaufman loose.

The street level bar is a nice wooden bar with tables in the back, friendly bartenders and a full bar of beer, cocktails and a nice wine list. The full menu includes cocnut shrimp, chicken wings, fajitas, burgers and a decent selection of pasta dishes.

There’s comedy in the basement every night at Village Lantern and tonight I went to see Schmucks Are People Too, a show hosted by Joe Masse. First off, forget Conan O’Whinin’ and Jay “Scarecrow” Leno, I have seen the next great night time host and it’s Joe Masse. He put together a hilarious and rollicking show. I’ve been to Caroline’s, Standup NY, Gotham Comedy Club and this was just as funny as anything I’ve seen at those  clubs. Joe was a great host and the comedians (some of them first timers, some seasoned pros) were hilarious and I laughed as hard as a barrelful of monkeys dosed to the beejesus belt on mescaline. A great time and no cover charge and everybody got a free shot after the show on the house! I love this place!

Village Lantern
167 Bleecker St
212-260-7993