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Saturday
Jan162010

Saturday, January 16th—Bar 6

Day Six—Friday, January 15th—Jake's Saloon

Okay, since last night was a bit of a dud, I thought I’d go to this bar on the Upper West Side that has a Mardi Gras theme. But it turns out I have to work tomorrow and Sunday so I won’t be able to sleep in and leisurely put this post up tomorrow so there’s been a change of plans. There’s two bars on my way home from work that will be more convenient for me. I’m either going to this place called the Rogue or the joint I mentioned last night, The Limerick House. I’ll decide when I get there. Okay, time is of the essence so let’s move on.

Okay, I went by the Rogue and The Limerick House and they were packed with what appeared to be meatheads, so I walked a block over to 7th Avenue and found a place that seemed to have a nice vibe going. It’s called Jake’s Saloon and if it’s good enough for George Clooney and the fabulous babe he's with it’s good enough for me.

Jake's Saloon, tonight's watering hole.

It looks like a friendly crowd and I'm even flashed a peace sign (or is that a V for victory?) on my way in.

Steve and Matt show off my card and more importantly a bottle of Budweiser. When asked about daily specials, Steve told me, "If my hands touch it, it's special." Well, isn't THAT special!

And we're off!

Seated directly to my left are Taneem and Katie.

Steve oversees the action at the bar.

This bartender asked not to be photographed, so of course I had to take his photo. But I placed a bar over his eyes, as he told me he's wanted by the law. I ain't no stoolie!

Tucked away in a corner booth were Jackie, Gina and Joycie.

Booze!

Katie has stolen Taneem's hat and is performing a nose press on his cheek.

Four of the six TV's to be seen at Jake's.

And here's the other two.

Here I am with Dan, who was seated at the front of the bar along with...

His much better (than me) half, Joy.

Straws!

Here's John, Sarah and Sara (without an H.) John wanted to know if this was a Czechoslovakian porn site and was greatly disappointed when told it wasn't. Sorry John!

Sarah (with the H) takes a shot of me and John and Sara (without the H.) John shows off his Czechoslovakian porn moves.

Okay, time for the nightly bathroom break.

I tell you, I keep getting surprised at how clean all the toilets have been!

Hey...how the fuck did that get there?

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot!

One of the great features of Jake's Saloon is that right around the corner is the Chelsea Papaya hot dog stand!

Hot dog! And goodnight everybody!

Review


A fun little neighborhood getaway. The bartenders and wait staff are more than friendly and fun and the atmosphere is casual and loose. A large drink and beer menu is available along with the bar’s signature beer, Jake’s Tricky Ale. The music is piped in at just the right level and there’s a half a dozen large flat screen TV’s for you Sunday sports fans. They have a full lunch and dinner menu and on weekends the kitchen is open till two in the morning to satisfy your late night munchie needs. Takeout and delivery is also available.

Check out the website (below) for daily happy hour, lunch specials and how to plan your own party at Jake's Saloon.

Jake's Saloon
Jake’s on facebook
206 West 23rd Street (@7th Avenue)
New York, NY 10011
212.337.3100

Friday
Jan152010

Friday, January 15, 2010—Bar 5

Day Five—Thursday, January 14th, 2010—Butterfield 8

So I’m on a break at work and I’m tryng to figure out what bar to go to. There’s a bar on the way home called the Limerick House, but I did an Irish bar last night, so I started doing Google searches. One of the searches led me to a bar called the Butterfield 8. It turns out that Thursday it’s ladies night and women can drink for free from 9pm to 10pm. There’s a complimentary open bar for women for an entire hour and then half-priced drinks from 10pm to closing. The first thing I thought of was, “Hmmm...where can I get a vagina installed at this somewhat late hour of the evening?” Then I thought about tampons and yeast infections and the grooming involved, would I shave it? Have a landing strip? Maybe a faux hawk...and then I started to get a headache. But after swallowing an aspirin it dawned on me, there would probably be a barful of drunk women at the Butterfield 8 tonight! I wouldn’t have to install a vagina, I could just use someone else’s for awhile! I get off work at 11:30 pm and the bar is only about nine blocks away. I’ll be there before midnight and the place should be packed with my favorite kind of women: Seven sheets to the wind and drunk as a skunk with a bottle of krunk!

Okay, here we are, the Butterfield 8. Huh, there's two guys walking out. Oh well, all the more women's for me!

Hey, it's Girl's Night Out...so where are all the girls? Maybe they're all powdering their noses. I think I better get a beer.

Brian was manning the bar and dutifully served me up a bottle of Budweiser.

And here's my trademarked goofball shot of me drinking the aforementioned beer.

As I prowl the bar looking for women, I found this abandoned drink at a table in front. No women and abandoned drinks? The weirdness was starting to get to me.

Finally I found a woman, the lovely Jess. Although John had his arm clamped tightly around her, I took the picture and politely moved along.

I did find some more women, however they too were with other men. Left to right: Teddy Morissey, Kelly Carr, Alex Halpern and Elise Howarth. They all attend Boston College except for Teddy who goes to Syracuse University. Elise suggested I check out Boston for bars, and at this point I wholeheartedly agree with her. Maybe there's single women there. After meeting these fine and fun people, things got a little ugly for me as the few guys remaining in the bar refused to have their picture taken. There were three jocko-fratboy types I asked and one said to me, "No thanks, I'm straight." To which I replied, "Oh, so that's why you're at a ladies night out bar with two guys." He didn't like that and I feel this further alienated me from the other customers (one other guy) in the joint. Oh well.

A lonely table at the Butterfield 8.

Olives!

A self-portrait in my notepad.

Even the TV set is poisoned, it's Vince, the ShamWow hooker beater guy.

Might as well take the bathroom break, maybe things will liven up when I get back. I hate bathrooms that just have a symbol on the wall. Is it so tough to get a sign that says, "Men?" I really feel like pissing in the hallway.

The toilet's clean, but there's toilet paper laying around. Slobs!

Hey, how'd that get there?

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot.

When I get back to the bar it's completely empty!

The only one left was bartender Brian who asked if I would quit taking pictures. I told him I would, I don't blame him, who wants to be bartending at an empty bar with some freak taking pictures of it.

So I packed up my bag, caught a cab and had an Auntie Em moment saying, "There's no place like home" and "There's no beer like Budweiser," after opening up my refrigerator.

And while I didn't end up with anyone from the bar, two words will rectify that situation: "Online Porn." Woo hoo!

Review

Well, it was bound to happen, I hit a bar on an off night and not much hilarity ensued. It did teach me one lesson, bars are bars, it’s the people inside them that make them fun. And there wasn’t too many people here tonight. However, the music was decent, while there I heard “Purple Haze” by The Jimi Hendirx Experience and “We Will Rock You” by Queen amidst other classic rock/dance songs, they have a full bar and menu (Butterfield 8 is also a full service restaurant, see the website for more details) and Alex from the above quartet photo told me he’s been here on a Friday or Saturday night when it was a lot of fun. Well, I won’t be able to check back for over a year, but I’ll take his word for it.

Butterfield 8
5 East 38th St. (Between 5th Ave. & Madison Ave.)
212-679-0646

Thursday
Jan142010

Thursday, January 14, 2010—Bar 4

Day Four—Wednesday, January 13th—O’Reilly’s Pub

I went back to work tonight, so I thought I’d go to O'Reilly's for tonight's bar, a little Irish Pub nearby where I work. I’ve been in this bar many times and it’s always been packed with toursists. It must be in a guidebook or something, because while it’s a nice bar, it’s not exactly on the beaten path for tourists. I’ll ask the bartender when I get there. The first three bars were local joints and I didn’t see a tourist in any of them. So it’ll be interesting to see how out-of-towners react to yours fooly...I mean, yours truly. Okay, let me punch the clock (and let me mention how I fucking hate time clocks, they suck donkey dicks on a bed of rice as sour as Jay Leno’s cancelled puckering asshole...whatever that means...I really don’t like time clocks)...

...And we’re off!

And here we are, I've always liked their neon sign, a beacon of hope in the cold dark night.

I found the first patron outside smoking. His name is Sylvestor and he's from West Africa and happened into O'Reilly's because he's staying in the hotel down the road.

There's a lively crowd inside the bar tonight.

I decide to get into the Irish mood by ordering a pint of Guiness from bartender T.J. Higgins.

And here it is in al its glory! A drinkable work of art!

A fun group of people were partying nearby and they are (from left): Dennis, Ethan (notice the devil eyes on Ethan, they'll come back to haunt me), Jeff and Jasmine (definitely the prettiest of the group!)

Here I preform the age-old Irish tradition of the "Wearing of the Guiness on the Noggin'." Notice the devil eyes of Ethan behind me!

A list of the large beer selection that awaits you at O'Reilly's.

A lonely, lonely booth. Sob.

Here's Sabrina (no relation to the teenage witch), Julz and Taina. Sabrina's from New York, Taina's a Finnish friend of Sabrina's from Orange County, California and Julz is visiting from Australlia. When asked what Julz did for a living he told me, "I pick up women." I need to party with this guy and take notes!

Some of the nightly food specials at O'Reilly's.

Ketchup!

In honor of last night's bar, I double down on the Budweiser's. And look behind me, it's the Devil Eye's of Ethan! Aaaah!

The crowd stays lively despite the wee hours of the night.

Here's the birthday party for Matt Brucato (Matt's all the way to the right.) He turned 21 tonight! Welcome to the land of the hangover, Matt!

T.J. at work amidst the river of booze that awaits you at O'Reilly's.

It's 1:30 in the morning and love is definitely in the air at O'Reilly's! Jasmine and Hernando are quite the loving couple. Cheers to you both!

O'Reilly's regulars, Brian and Martin. Brian suggested several bars for the 365 tour, including Carlow East, where he says if he's not there by 2pm he gets a text message from the manager.

This couple claims their name's are Antoine and Cleopatra, but the way Cleopatra laughed about the whole thing makes me doubt the validity of their names. But they were a fun couple to have a drink with.

And now time for the nightly bathroom break.

Another really clean toilet, so far it's been four out of four for a clean bar toilet. Very nice!

Hey...how'd that get there? (Special thanks to Frankie Headbanger for technical assistance!)

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot.

Review


O’Reilly’s is one of many Irish pubs in Manhattan and it’s one of the finer ones. The bartenders and waiteresses are friendly and the crowd is usually lively and the Guiness flows freely here. There’s also a full menu including traditional Irish fare such as fish and chips and shepherds pie, but they also have non-Irish items including grilled filet of salmon, shrimp scampi and stuffed filet of sole. Check out the website (below) to see the entire menu.

Of course they have Guiness on tap along with a bevy of other assorted beers on tap and bottled beers and of course a full bar. O’Reilly’s has a lively after work happy hour, stop by and if T.J. is working ask for one of his legendary Lady Mojo shots. It’ll bring you the luck of the Irish! Too rah loo rah loo. (P.S. Double Down Bartender Jenna Leigh sent in a picture of one of her paintings last night, scroll down and check out the update here: Jenna Leigh painting.)

O'Reilly's Pub & Restaurant
54 West 31st Street,
212-684-4244